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Describe your perfect weekend

My boyfriend and I drinking mojitos on a yacht off the coast of Spain, watching a fireworks display, having eaten freshly caught fish…

What would you do if you ruled the world?

I'd make everybody equal, have double pink lines instead of double yellows, destroy all guns and nuclear weapons, and make members of the National Rifle Association clean up the streets.

What one thing would improve your life?

A quicker metabolism! I go to the gym, drink Berocca and eat well, but it makes no difference.

Who did you last receive a text from and what did it say?

It was from my guitarist Randy, saying, "God save our gracious Randall. I am a bona fide honorary Englishman. Drinks tonight!" He has been fighting a five-year battle to gain UK citizenship, and he was awarded it today.

When did you last feel sorry for yourself?

Today, when I managed to give myself whiplash doing God knows what, and I am walking like a pigeon.

Would your mother be proud of you?

I hope so. I think so! Why, what has she said? I think my mum would be proud of me regardless of who I was and what I had achieved. She's a very lovely lady.

Who would you like to say sorry to?

No one. I've made peace with everyone I ever fought with. I can't stay mad at anyone for long – it just breaks my heart – and I can't stand confrontation.

Who does the cleaning in your house?

Everyone – and the cleaner every Wednesday!

What's the most you've spent on a purchase, apart from a car or property?

A £2,000 dress from D&G, my Taylor 12-string… and cat food! I swear to God the cat costs more a week than we do.

What is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?

I once got so drunk I fell asleep on the street in Sloane Square and woke up at 6am to find the morning herd of office workers throwing change at me. Very embarrassing.

What is your earliest memory?

My grandfather Charlie – who died when I was a year old – looking down at me in my cot. I'll never forget it.

What song is the theme tune to your life?

'My Way'. I want it played at my funeral.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

BA Baracus, aka Mr T. We're so alike.

Should you vote?

You should vote for a person, not just a party.

When did you lose your virginity?

I was 16. It was terrible, but only through lack of understanding.

What worries you in the wee small hours?

The usual stuff – bills, car, mortgage, the tax man, my unpaid parking tickets, getting up to feed the cat in time, how my record is doing, whether I remembered to pay the rent, post those letters, take out the rubbish, what I'll say in my interviews the next day…

When were you last naked in front of another person?

Eh? Who says I'm not naked now? Um, well this morning, I guess.

Who was your favourite teacher and why?

Mrs Hart, my primary school teacher. She believed in me.

Who is your fantasy date?

Han Solo. I'd be dressed as Princess Leia, obviously.

What would you do if you were invisible?

Run around the streets naked, break into parliament, drink coffee and watch it run through me.

What are your most treasured possessions?

My guitar and my cat.

What do you remember better, your first car or first kiss?

Definitely my car – I'm a tomboy. In fact, I have still got it. It's a T-reg Ford Focus and it's parked outside.

If you didn't have your current career, what would you do?

Maybe a detective, or a professional poker player. Or possibly I'd run a bar in Rio, or work for animal rescue.

What do you think of celebrity?

It's just a big hoax. Everyone's sitting in their pyjamas, smoking Mayfairs and drinking Lambrini. Jordan and Pete, Posh and Becks, Kate and Tom – they're all at it.

What has been your greatest achievement?

Staying alive.