The 43-year-old father of two, who carried off the romantic lead in the Hebridean drama Two Thousand Acres of Sky, also has three films in production, all of them thrillers: Malice in Wonderland, The Big I Am and Gunrush, which also stars Timothy Spall.

Describe your perfect weekend

Just making loads of tea and food for unexpected visitors (my wife's a kibbutznik, so we've kind of got an open house where people stop by uninvited), playing with the kids, shopping and other normal stuff.

What would you do if you ruled the world?

I'd fear for our planet more than usual.

What's your guiltiest pleasure?

Cigarettes.

What one thing would improve your life?

Stopping smoking.

Who did you last receive a text from?

A friend who recently gave birth in the back of a cab and named the baby after the driver. Apparently the cabbie had real problems getting his taxi cleaned because everyone thought it was a crime scene.

When did you last feel sorry for yourself?

I feel sorry for myself all the bloody time. I am a horribly self-pitying sort.

Would your mother be proud of you?

Yeah, I think so. When I do the right thing I feel her around me.

What's the most you've ever spent?

I took my son to New York for his 16th birthday. It was expensive but worth every penny.

Who is your fantasy date?

PJ Harvey.

Which do you remember better, your first car or first kiss?

First kiss. It was in a cinema, watching Grease. This girl kissed me and it really freaked me out. I went to the loo then legged it home. To this day, I've only ever seen the first ten minutes of Grease.

When did you lose your virginity?

I was a few weeks shy of my 17th birthday. I called the girl a 'sack of gold' in the morning, and she was offended by the 'sack' bit. "But I said it was full of gold," was my hopeless defence. She wasn't having it. I learnt a lot about women that day.

What is your most treasured possession?

I've got a small Nicaraguan flag that I took off Joe Strummer's coffin.

What do you think of celebrity?

It doesn't mean anything to me. I really like being low-key, and the day I can't get on the Tube is the day I leave London. A lot of young girls would still give their right arms to be Amy Winehouse, despite the appalling pain she's clearly in. That says it all to me.

What has been your greatest achievement?

Back in 1991, I made a banner for an Arsenal match the night we beat Manchester United and won the league. It said 'George Knows', and Nick Hornby mentions it in Fever Pitch ("...and George did know, like fathers rarely do"). I'll never forget the feeling I had when I read that for the first time.

Do you regret the Steve Martin red-carpet interview, where you asked him why he wasn't funny any more?

No, I feel vindicated now, post-Sgt Bilko and his turn as Clouseau.

Why did you kill off Dennis Pennis?

I was stressed, bored and paranoid.

Did you like cartoons and comic books as a kid?

Yeah, Banana Splits was my favourite show. I read a lot of comics too.

What did you think of Scotland when you were filming Two Thousand Acres of Sky?

I loved it. I stayed in a cottage right on the sea. It has a special place in my heart.

What research are you doing for a cartoon featuring chickens?

Hanging round KFC with a pair of nunchucks. I'm playing evil Dr Wasabi, a mutant shark with psychopathic tendencies. I've modelled it on Donald Pleasence in You Only Live Twice, and given it a camp, Germanic twist.