NEXT time your parent-and-baby group is having one of those mum-upmanship chats about how their toddler can play the violin while adding up fractions, wait for the conversation to turn to potty training. Just when the eco-warriors and yummy mummies are at each others' throats over whose baby has the greenest bum (is it the one whose mother uses her washing machine twice a day with lashings of soap powder to get those real nappies clean and fluffy, or the one whose disposables will clog up landfill sites for aeons to come?), you can trump them all by casually mentioning that you don't bother with either, because your baby lets you know when they want to go to the toilet using Elimination Communication.

It might sound like the kind of threat Tony Soprano would issue, but EC is the natural childcare practice of using timing, signals, cues and intuition to know when a baby needs to empty its bowels or bladder, partially or completely avoiding the use of nappies. Celebrity endorsement comes from Jane Fonda, whose son Troy was toilet-trained by a nanny using this method when she was filming on location in Russia.

It's a common practice in less industrialised countries. In fact, the term was coined by Ingrid Bauer in her book Diaper-Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene after she noticed on her travels in India and Africa that mothers carried nappy-less babies around constantly, yet there were few accidents.

EC is usually started before a baby is six months. When they need to go, their parents hold them over a toilet or potty and make a sound, such as a gentle 'sss', as a cue.

While this is a very common practice in the rest of the world, we in the West ignore the signals that our babies are about to go, train them to do it in a nappy, then have to train them not to do so when they are older. No wonder they get confused.

The environmental and economic benefits are not to be sniffed at, as Tracy Dixon of Green Mums (www.greenmums.co.uk), points out: "You can save £500 over two years by not using disposables – and you're not putting them in landfill, where they take 300 years to break down."

When I asked my friends if EC was something they might consider, their reactions varied from, "Oh no, not another thing to be crap at" to, "If you have a baby on your hip 24 hours a day, you'll soon learn when it's about to go." But a surprising number said, "Yes, I could tell from my child's face when they were going to go, so maybe we could have got to grips with EC."

Generations of child-rearing gurus have told us that infants have no control over their bowels or bladder and no awareness of being wet. Their advice varies from the child-centred approach of Penelope Leach, who advocates unlimited affection and waiting until the child is ready in her book Your Baby and Child, to evangelical Christian minister Garry Ezzo and wife Anne Marie who favour parent-centred tough love and scheduled toilet visits. According to Supernanny Jo Frost, "The physical development that gives babies control happens around 18 months. But it takes longer, usually another year or so, before she can recognise when she needs to go and can do something about it herself." Gina Ford, meanwhile, says, "Generally, children develop bladder and bowel control some time after 18 months. Potty training before this is pointless and will only result in many accidents and much frustration."

EC turns this on its head. But can it really fit in to a Western lifestyle? Diane Morley, mother of 11-year-old twins and an 11-mouth-old baby, found a way to make it work. She is enthusiastic about EC and urges others to give it a go.

"I first saw EC in India years ago," says the 42-year-old from Berwickshire. "I was on a 15-hour bus journey and the woman next to me had a very small baby who didn't make a mess at all. Whenever the bus stopped for a break, she would take the baby off and it would go then. I remember thinking, 'How on earth is she doing that?' It was brilliant.

"Then I heard the term Elimination Communication through La Leche League when my twins were two, and in Bauer's Daiper-Free. I thought, 'If I ever have another child, I'm going to do that.' I wish I'd tried it with the twins, because I felt guilty about the disposable nappies, but when you've got two newborns who pee every 20 minutes, it was unrealistic."

So when baby Isaac came along, Morley opted for EC. "We tried it from when he was six months old. The twins were three before they were nappy-free, but I'm hoping Isaac will be faster. If I save ten Pampers from landfill, that's great."

It has not all been plain sailing, though. "My Chinese sister-in-law would call me a useless Westerner. She says her mother used this method in Malaysia from when she was six months, and she was out of nappies by nine months. It's all about reading body language, which can be very subtle – just a little squeak, in Isaac's case. I fetch a potty and make a 'ssss' sound and he goes then. There have been times where I've been a bit slow but he's stopped and waited for the potty. From six months, we got 50% of the wees and 100% of the poos."

They then had a breakthrough for six weeks when there were no accidents at all, but the routine went to pot with the start of the twins' summer holidays. "Things went pear-shaped then," says Morley. "You've got to be with them all the time, which some people can't manage, obviously. But millions of people make it work, as I saw on that trip to India. It's something we have lost."

This is all very well, you might be thinking, but what about the Axminster and domestic harmony? This method isn't for everyone, Morley admits, especially more house-proud parents.

"You must be relaxed about it. But our carpets haven't suffered at all – we've had only two accidents. My partner's opinion was that if it works, it's brilliant; if it doesn't, it doesn't matter. The twins have already trashed the house anyway!

"I'm sure in the next ten years the concept will take off. I'd definitely recommend trying it, but don't be uptight. It helps that we live in the sticks, which I guess is easier than the city. We've had some funny looks from dog walkers when Isaac has needed to go while we're out, but no one has said anything."

Well, plastic bag in hand as they trail after their pooch, they couldn't really object, could they?

Elimination communication for dummies

TIMING

Newborns urinate every ten to 20 minutes but by six months it can be once an hour, so timing it is quite reliable. However, bowel movements vary from several a day to one every few days.

SIGNALS

Some babies can signal very clearly from the beginning, either by squirming or passing wind, or using a particular cry, grunt or facial expression. Older babies can learn a gesture.

CUES

This is making a particular sound or giving a non-auditory cue when the baby is in an appropriate place to go, developing two-way communication. At first, making the sound when the baby is urinating or defecating will create an association in the baby's mind that they are in an appropriate potty place. Common sound cues include gentle hissing for urination and grunting for defecation. Older babies may respond better to more word-like cues.

INTUITION

This may simply be subconscious awareness of timing or signals, but many parents practising EC say it's very reliable.

• For more information, see Ingrid Bauer's Diaper-Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene (Plume, £8.99 – a new edition will be published in November); La Leche League (www.laleche.org.uk) and the National Childbirth Trust (www.nct.org.uk)